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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I Hear Everything

I Hear Everything

No certainty---
Half a dozen pains not of a kind: know not how, when, where, nor why 
Uniform they're not, the aches of my head are their own 
I hear my own ears
I hear dust settle
I hear a feather drop.

One is hammering and bashing to back of my head Bam! 
Electric busting loose gears, iron grinding wanton and then some
Gnawing and all-knowing, hurt chewing snarls from within, spits with spite
Venom-laced cackling and chortling, whipping abandon
Welts blazing rivers down my neck, angry raking scabs scarlet
Secretly silent and isolate, no starlet I
Needing others, seeking only social outlet
My efforts to soothe in vain, meds no main for pain trail
I hear a hair die
I hear a butter fly. 

Two is band elastic squeezing tight
Clinging stainless to forehead and crown alike 
Bony plates squeaking in spirals, scratching and smarting with me shrill 
Serpents slither and splinter, chewing sinew and flesh to rot, acid putrid
Spiders crawling across scalp, worms biting flesh zig zag and slant side to side
Wheels whirring mayhem and straight ahead storm skewering asunder and thunder  
I hear a cloud clear. 

Three is one sided pulsating temple, shoots lightening white
Kneading shoulder, only bitter, no sweet, only sweat
Deeply aching one jaw, one artery swells throbbing 
Swollen tremor more than teats milking
One vein gnarly popping lurid green, no easy feat for skin chocolatey
One eye bursts tearing rheumy, hot as only evil can be, darker than me
One head, one pain, one ache--lashings of mockery, all glee
I hear the sun set.

Four is base of skull cracking and crackling, banging and boring through 
Steel drums echo, battering horns ramming, eating me alive
Neck wringing and writhing, neurons noising stubborn for weeks 
Slushy ice, coldly blue shattering shards glass sticky, shoved up my nose
Poundings pokes and pangs by the feverish dozens, fervently frozen
My head one hundred and one tons 
I hear my heart beat.

Five is days before blood pours off vagina, knifing shiny sharp cuts
Red inside out, violent vicious skewering head, mottled witch-like
Shriek synapses spreading wildfire, phish sans shush nor hush
Vomit stink dank in dark velvet, secret nights of tender 
Wretch retching, cold hurl in toilet, innards twist and churn, no churl I
Knees on tile cold and hard, throat shredded raw in wail, bleaker than black
Havoc in universe, chaos in vertigo, virulent of my stupid beloved hated head 
I hear the stars align.

Six is all calm, then one thousand and one needle pricks piercing to scalp
Pinching only a second or two or a millisecond or three                                      
Too good to be true, too soon to celebrate, foolish girl, silly pipe dreams
Slap-whack rage furious swearing simpleton upside down my head
This time for twenty-six seconds
As in the drooping arc of my head,
I hear a petal wilt. 

I hear ears of other people
I hear my nail grow
I hear honey combed
Then all quiet again for one hour or two or a day or three
Till the next strike and the next, and the time after a blur
My only certainty.

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